How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
