whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
