Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize