I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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