I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
