can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
