So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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