I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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