You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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