mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
