Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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