I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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