my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
