I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
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