Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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