That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
