i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
