im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
