I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
