im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
