They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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