Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
