She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
