I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
