your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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