Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Ketchup is God's man juice
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
