I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
