Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
