i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Life is so much better after having sex.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
That was before I lit my hair on fire
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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