I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
