bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
