I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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