Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
