"it" just moved
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
