All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
