I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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