You're my little dorito
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
