just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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