so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
