You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
this hospital has no fireball
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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