Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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