Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
