I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
