do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
