I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
