Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think my moral compass just broke
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
