Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
