My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
