Three words: puerto rican gang bang
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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