if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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