and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't deserve a penis
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
