Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just found a bag of teeth...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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