I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
