This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
