You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
