someone get that fucking seahorse.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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