Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
