I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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