Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
