thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
