No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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