I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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