Already got asked if we're dating
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
