i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize