butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
