physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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