Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
